• in fifth grade
• me: ur sitting in my seat
• kid: i don't see ur name on it
• me: it will be written in your blood if you don't get the fuck up

246,220 notes · reblog

27,651 notes · reblog

• mom: did you eat all the donuts
• me: no
• mom: why are you lying to me i can see all the powder on your pants
• me: thats cocaine

243,805 notes · reblog